I come from a blue collar, working class family. My grandmother and grandfather were shoe makers at the now defunct Endicott Johnson factory. My mom would eventually end up working at the same factory.

My Grandparents Nellie and Frank

After getting out of the military, my dad became a cop for the city of Binghamton. He was never promoted beyond patrolman, but it wasn’t for lack of hard work or dedication. One day, while responding to a domestic disturbance call, he was shot in the head and died instantly. I was only 2, and he was 26.

I was taught early on that having a career was for “other people”. If I could find good, steady work after high school that offered me insurance and a chance for promotions, I should consider myself lucky. This advice was probably why I spent 12 years working in a job I hated behind the service desk of a grocery store.

About 10 years in, I decided I could not spend the rest of my life wearing a smock and a name tag, and I started looking into going back to school. By this time, I had worked my way up with the grocery store, and was the assistant office manager. My salary would be about $35,000 by the time I gave my notice; and that was considered “good money” in my circles.

Starting college at 29 made me a nontraditional student (i.e. old).

Because of my age, I didn’t have the luxury of picking the wrong major. I had one chance to get this right. I decided to work towards a degree in paralegal studies, and gave myself a goal of 2 years to complete my associates degree.

My mom though I was crazy to risk my “good job” for a shot at something better. There was no guarantee I would even find a job in my field, or that I would like it if I did. But once you start fantasizing about getting into a violent car accident on your way to work just so you can call in sick, you know it’s time for a life change.

I accomplished my goal, and graduated with a 4.0 GPA in just under 2 years. Not only did I work towards my degree while working 40 hours at my demoralizing job, but I also took on an unpaid internship with the U.S. District Court. It was a heavy load. But I did have a few things in my favor.

I married young (another trait the women in my family share), and during this time, my marriage was quietly falling apart. He was unemployed and enjoyed spending his days reading comic books and getting stoned with our cats, Kiki Man and Odin. I was hyped up on No-Doze and Diet Coke, splitting my time between classes and studying, and my full-time job and part time internship. I had NO life, so there was nothing to balance. But I knew if I sacrificed now, I could have the life I wanted later.

No surprise, the marriage ended up being a bust, but college proved to be worthwhile. My unpaid internship turned into a full-time job offer with the U.S. District Court. I was hired as one of five paralegal to start a new initiative known as the Inmate Litigation Unit. Stay tuned – the stories I have to tell about this job!

Eighteen years and two legal positions later, and I find myself where I am today. Deputy Chief Clerk for a New York State Court. The girl who was encouraged to settle, now has a six figure income, a 35 hour work week, great benefits and a pension plan.

I also have a teenage son, a 135 pound Rottweiler, an entrepreneur husband with an undiagnosed, chronic illness, a goldfish that refuses to die, a lizard that refuses to be held, and a father-in-law that recently moved in with us that likes to gamble and pick up women on-line.

Me, BJ and Micah

Hugo

So how did I balance it all then, and continue to balance it all now? Sometimes just by the seat of my pants. Sometimes not at all. Every stage, from dead-end jobs to satisfying career was a lesson.

Journey with me, and I will take you back to a 16 year old girl trying to handle high school and her very first job as a drugstore cashier, to the present day mother and wife trying to find work/life balance in the real word.