10 surefire signs you are SO OVER your current job!

The following list is true. I should know. They happened to me!

Your immediate supervisor tells you she is happy you want to go back to school and is willing to scheduling your work hours around your classes. She then proceeds to tell her boss how much of an inconvenience this will be and that he should deny your request for flexible hours. Soon after, you are put in charge of making the Halloween display at your job. You decide to decorate the wall with a cemetery scene complete with handmade tombstones. You make a tombstone for yourself which reads “…She bled to death trying to get the knife out of her back”. (FYI – my flexible hours were approved despite my supervisor).
Your boss lets you order a new office chair as long as the price is under $100.00. You find a message chair on clearance for $95.00 so you buy it. Your boss thinks it’s funny and lets you keep it. Everyone is jealous. It is the best chair ever. You STILL hate your job.
An asshole customer makes you cry. Since you are forced to wear a name tag, “asshole” now knows your name. Then, whenever “asshole” comes back in, he makes a point of saying hello and calling you by your name. You seriously consider changing your name to “my boyfriend is large and will kick your teeth in”.
You are made to feel guilty for calling in sick to work so you come in anyways. While at work, you pass out while waiting on a customer. Your supervisor panics and notifies the whole store you have fainted by announcing it over the PA system. The store manager, assistant manager and 3 others rush to your aid. The store manager proceeds to ask if you are pregnant or on drugs. (You can’t make this shit up).
You work at a mom and pop pet store where there is a large sign stating “Please do not pick up the rabbits”. Of course, a kid picks up a rabbit. It bites him. The kid drops the rabbit on the floor and you have to go retrieve it from behind the fish tanks. Said rabbit proceeds to scratch up your forearms with his razor sharp, talon- like back legs, until your arms are dripping blood like a tourist at a zombie convention. The little darling’s parents proceed to yell at you for “scaring their son”.
IBM used to market a business computer called Wang. The system is garbage and goes off-line at least once a day. You are constantly on the phone with the Help Desk for assistance. One particularly busy morning, the system goes down and you place the obligatory Help Desk call. They ask if the computer in the manager’s office is working, and as luck would have it, your manager has just walked in. The first thing out of your mouth is “hey, when you were in your office were you able to get your Wang up?” It all goes downhill from there.
An investor is buying property that has been foreclosed on, and you are put in charge of preparing the deed and all the transfer documents. On the day of the closing, the buyers show up at your office to sign the papers. You and your male boss greet the visitors, and you stick out your hand for the customary greeting. DENIED. The buyers tell you they will NOT shake hands with you because you could be unclean (i.e. on your period) and that it is against their custom to conduct business with a GIRL! The boss excuses you from the meeting.
A customer comes in to cash a check and you ask him for his ID. He hands you his license along with a condom that is stuck to the back. You try to laugh it off as you hand it back to him saying “I don’t need this”. Instead of being embarrassed, he tells you to keep it “…in case you get lucky later”.
You are getting more and more disillusioned with your job and have started venting your frustrations on a daily basis. One day you overhear your supervisors talking about how unhappy your seem lately. You pride yourself on appearing professional, so you are mortified when one says “she has the face of an angel and the mouth of a sailor” to which the other replies “does she kiss her mother with that mouth”?
You have nightmares about your job. Every Single Night! Even the nightmares are better than the reality.